A Demisexual’s Guide to Online Dating Culture

Demisexual people only feel sexually attracted to someone when they have an emotional bond with the person. They usually don’t experience the “primary attraction” – the type of attraction that we feel when meeting someone for the first time. Because of these reasons, demisexual people often find the modern online dating world quite bewildering. It’s hard for them to navigate the hookup and fast dating culture, as they need to get to know the other person first. To awaken the sexual feelings, they need to find friendship first.

For demisexuals, the whole online dating might often prove to be disappointing. However, there are a few tips that can make the whole experience easier. From learning how to be clear with your intentions to knowing exactly what you want and asking plenty of questions to get to know your date as well as possible before meeting in person – this all might seem to be easier said than done, but don’t get discouraged yet.

Continue reading below to learn more about building the much-needed connection and succeeding in the online dating world.

Take Your Time

Take your time when getting to know someone on an online dating site. Don’t rush things – it’s better to get to know one person well over some time than rush into things and risk being disappointed later. By allowing the connection to build slowly, you give yourself plenty of time to get used to the idea of physical contact with another person before going through with it.

It is also essential that you keep in mind that there will be a lot of flirting over text or messaging on a dating site, but that doesn’t mean that it will always lead to a real-life meeting. Take plenty of time getting to know someone before agreeing to meet them in person. Remember, it is okay if you don’t want to meet in person right away – everyone has their own pace when it comes to building an emotional connection.

Talk It Through

If you’re still nervous about meeting a person in real life, then go into that first date with a clear plan. Make sure you both know what the expectations are going to be during the date. Are you going to hold hands? Will you have a kiss at the end of the date? This way, you will avoid any awkwardness or surprises.

It might also be useful to clarify to your date that you don’t avoid sex in a relationship in general and can also be very sex-positive when it comes to trying sex toys, like products from www.siliconwives.com or new positions in the bedroom. You just need more time to get entirely comfortable with another person before moving to that phase.

If either of you feels unsure about these things, then talk it through before the date. This way, you will avoid any awkward conversations later on. If you don’t want any physical contact at all, make sure you say so before the date. Ask your date how they feel about it and respect their decision, even if it differs from yours.

Use this conversation as an opportunity to talk about your expectations – make sure you’re on the same page about what you expect from each other.

Be Realistic

Talking about what you want and what you’re looking for is crucial for your dating success. It can help you to find like-minded people who are looking for the same things that you are. However, it’s important not to get too ahead of yourself. Realistic expectations are fundamental when you’re dating online, especially if you’re looking for something long-term.

Don’t get your hopes up immediately. You need to give yourself time to get to know the person well before deciding whether or not you want to pursue a relationship with them. Remember that just because someone flirts with you online doesn’t necessarily mean that they’re attracted to you in real life. It is perfectly normal for people to flirt through messages or texts, but that doesn’t mean they actually want to meet in person.

Be Honest About Your Feelings

It’s also crucial that you are honest about your feelings when meeting someone in person for the first time. Don’t put yourself in a situation where you’re forced to do something that makes you uncomfortable. If you’re not comfortable with physical contact, make sure that the other person knows that beforehand. If you really like someone but are not ready for a romantic relationship, be honest about that too.

It’s okay if you don’t feel attracted to someone straight away. It might happen eventually, but don’t feel pressured into anything before feeling ready. You might also need to go on multiple dates before you feel comfortable enough to have sex or share an intimate connection with the other person. Let the other person know this before it happens – there is no point in making them feel rejected later on.

It is better to be honest about your feelings from the beginning than trying to keep them hidden until it is too late for them to back out. This way, both of you are aware of what is going on and can act accordingly.


Demisexual people can enjoy a fulfilling love – sometimes finding a partner who understands them might take more time and effort, but in the end, we believe that there’s always someone special waiting for every person.

It might not be easy for demisexual people to find love in the modern world full of hookup culture and fast dating ideas. Building a relationship takes time, effort, and understanding from both partners. However, finding love shouldn’t be overly challenging if you are willing to put in some work and focus on the essential things rather than the superficial ones.